Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Widaa'ul Akhir

Today marks a month since my dearly beloved brother, Mu'adz Azhar left us, forever. Truly, what we went through was a very painful experience. It was very difficult for us, but for Ummi the most as it wasn't easy for her to lose her one and only beloved mother followed by her dearest son within just 2 months. But Alhamdulillah, Allah gave us the internal strength to endure through this very hard period of time and helped us through with less difficulties.

Frankly, all the SMSs, calls and visits we received throughout the whole period since Mu'adz was first admitted on the 4th of April till the very last day, and up until now really helped us a lot in gaining the strength we needed. The countless support we received from
family and friends from all over the globe MasyaAllah was really unexpected. Had it not been for this, i could never imagine how worse it would have been.

We do realize that this was a test from Allah, although it was a very tough one, to test our iman and belief in Him. Alhamdulillah, we got through, or insyaAllah hopefully we did get through. From Him we come and to Him we return. We are very much thankful and content to what had happened and may it be a source of restrengthening back our iman, faith and belief towards Him and may He grant us with the best of 'Ajr'.

I would like to express my best gratitude to everyone who threw in their support, directly or indirectly as well as for the du'aas and supplications that everyone had offered for Mu'adz and for us. May this experience leave a very thoughtful lesson for all of us who are still waiting for our turn. Wallahu A'lam

Attached below is a mass Thank You note e-mail from my parents to everyone who offered their support. May Allah bless you all...


dear friends, brothers & sisters
salam & greetings all

its been 4 weeks since our dear son mu’adz, departed from us
never got round to thank everyone for all their help and support
1st week was sorting out JPN paper works, school matters, bank
accounts and flying back to doha
the ensuing week was catching up on 3-weeks’ piled-up work
then back to KL to examine at HUKM’s post-grad medical exam; a very hectic week
then back to doha; work matters, H1N1 and all the rest of it just kept
me really occupied

anyway, I won’t miss this weekend chance to write back to everyone in the loop
to express our sincere gratitude; mine, lina’s and the kids’
for all the great help and support we received in the past 6 weeks

it was truly a painful experience for us, a very2 difficult time indeed
but now we cherish the real meaning of brother & sisterhood
and true friends when it comes to needs
the phone calls, sms’es, e-mails, visits, words of advice and encouragement
and various other support measures from many corners of the globe
that came in left, right and center, many a times unexpectedly
plus the silent duas and prayers, from near and far
many said they did very little, hardly if any
only if they realized how much those little ‘trivial’ efforts
really did ease our pain and burden
and never did we anticipate our matters were going to go so smoothly

the experience has taught us many lessons and given us greater insights
and made us more appreciative of issues in life that we used to take
for granted all these while
about death that’s surely to come to each and everyone of us
(yes, despite me having regular encounters at my workplace!)
the divine ‘loan’ that will surely end someday
and in our case, 16.5 years felt very short-lived
and the worthiness of eternal life far surpassing this worldly one
the tribulations that our creator inflicts on us
as a means of testing faith, patience, hope and gratitude
and hopefully as expiation of sins and elevation in eternal ranks too

the experience also gave us many great opportunities
the 2 weeks in icu helped to mentally and psychologically prepare us
for HIS final decree
and strengthened our family bonding, bringing us even much closer to each other
despite being unconscious and under the life-support machines and medications
yet he was still shedding tears when we spoke, read duas, Ma’thurat
and the Quran to him
accompanying allahyarham back home, alone in the back of the hearse
the night he passed away
allowed me to self-introspect (muhasabah diri) reflecting over the past
and renew my covenant (bai’ah) and true repentance (taubah nasuhah) to
the creator
and subhanallah I felt as though his soul was bearing testimony to my
silent declarations
may these be fulfilled and everlasting

the crowd that was awaiting at our little home that night
and the big congregation that prayed at the surau and accompanied us
at the funeral the next day
were just simply amazing, and made us more thankful
never did we anticipate hearing from, and meeting so many long-lost colleagues
the 30-odd years post-mrsm that kept us apart quickly became history
(and admittedly, some names, and faces too, were just so difficult to recall)

Alhamdulillah we never regretted the decision to send him back home
for continued education
distanced from us and his other 4 siblings (+ 2 in-laws and a little
niece), many miles apart
but the positive changes that we noticed in him & improvements in
maturity and sense of responsibility
were all fruits of good tarbiyyah at this particular boarding school

no doubt its been a very2 sad episode in our lives
we still cry over this, me breaking down more times than my
emotionally-stronger better half
the worst affected have been me and our little 12-yr old aiman
even my girls are made of tougher material; must have been the
double-X genetic make up
kak ngah who had to stay back in doha and missed mu’adz’s last days
because of univ classes and difficulty in flying back with her baby
was instead consoling us over the phone on learning of her brother’s
terminal illness and eventual departure

but life has to go on
though terribly saddened, Alhamdulillah we’re all very thankful and contented
with this whole event and the Mighty Creator’s decree
and the fact that we managed to bear patience and endure it all in tranquility
and gotten the strength from sources we couldn’t have imagined
and for HIS decision, which we are very convinced as the best
evident blessings from all your prayers and supplications

i have been and shall always pray for all of you
for HIS continued guidance, mercy and forgiveness
and forbiddance from the torments of the grave and hell fire
and for HIS multiplied rewards in the best eternal abode
and may Allah grant my prayers in turn, ameen

once again, syukran jazilan wa jazakumullahukhairan kathiran
insya allah we’ll be back home for the summer vacation, 27 jun-6 aug
really hope to catch up with more of you, in better times, this time round

ma’assalamah
azhar, lina
‘ammar (+anisah), iffah (+abd ghofur & baby ‘abidah), ‘aliya & aiman
doha, qatar
[on behalf of allahyarham mu’adz]


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